The other day I was trying to get something done around the house but I had this overwhelming sense of uncertainty and lacking emotional safety. I wasn’t sure why, but my mood was changing and I could tell that things were quickly getting the better of me. I had to stop. I made a coffee, went outside and was trying to remember the saying, something about uncertainty breeding something else. With a hat tip to the AI wizard on my phone, I found it, ‘uncertainty breeds contempt.’ The description went on to say that, this ‘suggests that when people are unsure or lack information or security, they may become distrustful or scornful of the source of that uncertainty, leading to negative emotions and potentially disdain.’ It was like it was speaking right to me. I felt uncertain, I got triggered and then started to get a little ornery towards the trigger.
I don’t think it is a leap to expect others to also feel some uncertainty at this time. Things we once thought were unbreakable in the world, are not only starting to show cracks but, in some cases, actively crumbling. It’s only natural for this to create a sense of uncertainty, but what is it triggering in you? What’s coming up for you as an individual?
The triggers we feel aren’t about the current event. The event is the reminder of the original trigger that created the narrative. A lot of successful individuals are driven to success because of the narrative of impressing a parent, seeking approval, love, admiration – that’s what can drive them, at least initially. But, inevitably, even when things are going fairly well, you can still get triggered, and when that happens, we as humans have a weird custom of projecting our own emotions onto others. This is where the problems often start, or re-start, in many cases.
When we feel uncertain about something, not only do we breed contempt, but we then try to establish some kind of control over the situation, even if it means resorting to a negative emotional state.
How are you going to make sure the uncertainty you are feeling with your business, ownership, investments (to name just a few) doesn’t breed contempt in the family areas, like decision making, respect, trust and inclusion?
Questions To Ponder:
How has your family dealt with uncertainty in the past?
What guiding principles are you following to ensure the family members remain in a positive emotional state?
Who is initiating the important discussions in the family about how you feel about uncertainty?